By Carol Luebering. The experts call it an anticipatory loss. Most of the rest of us call it a hard road to travel. ? Watching a loved one suffer and decline is one of life’s most trying experiences. One wonders how in the world to live through this ordeal, and how to go on with life without this person who has been such an important part of you. Favorite CareNotes author Carol Luebering suggests the following main guidelines, and elaborates on each: Be as honest as you can with yourself and with others; Find support; Mend fences; Wrap up unfinished business; Affirm the value of your loved one’s life.