When a family member, friend, co-worker, or neighbor has endured a loss, the first instinct is to offer comfort. But how? What words should be used, or not used? What is an appropriate gesture? Many grief experts advise the most important thing a person can do for someone grieving is be a ?caring presence.? This CareNote offers ways to simply ?be there? for your loved one in sections entitled: ?What should I say — or not?,? ?Listen to what they want to say,? ?Actions can speak for you,? ?Grief is a lifelong process,? and ?Welcome the God-talk.?