Living as a Cancer Survivor

by Alaric Lewis, OSB

Although the disease itself may be gone, its effects can last. This CareNote will suggest ways to help acknowledge and work through the complicated emotions that surround a clean bill of health after a diagnosis of cancer.

Accept your emotions. “You are so fortunate,” many people told me when they heard the good news. And I knew I was, indeed, fortunate to be freed of something when far too many others are not. But as the jubilation of the announcement began to fade and I began to grow stronger, my gratitude was soon joined by other, less joyous emotions.

I was angry that so much time out of my life had been spent in hospitals and clinics. I was upset because of the toll it took on those people I loved, especially my father, who had already been through so much with the death of my mother and my sister’s own battle. I was frightened of a future where the possibility of a recurrence hung over my head like a dark cloud.

With so many people saying how lucky I was, I began to worry that I was being ungrateful.

I soon discovered, in talking with other cancer survivors, that the feelings I was experiencing were perfectly normal and in no way discounted the joy that was present as well. Battling cancer can be a complicated process; surviving is equally complicated. So if in the midst of jubilation you’re feeling other, less-than-joyful feelings, know that what you are experiencing is natural.

Acknowledge the toll. Even though the cancer is gone, the scars will remain. For some people, it’s the scars of surgery. For others, it may be the aftereffects of chemotherapy and hair that didn’t grow back or grew back differently.

Not all the scars can be seen, however. Perhaps the most constant refrain of many cancer survivors is, “What if it comes back?” Sometimes each ache or pain, each mysterious lump or bump, can bring back fears most people don’t worry about.

It is important to realize that having survived cancer is going to take a toll on you. It’s going to leave its scars—both visible and invisible. Accepting this situation can begin to help us see these scars less as the ugly remnants of a battle, and more as beautiful monuments of the peace that follows the battle.

Get the facts. An important part of being a survivor is keeping up-to-date about follow-up procedures and other subjects related to your particular kind of cancer. Have there been advances in post-cancer care? Do you need to take dietary elements into consideration? What sort of things should you look for as signals of possible trouble? Information is frequently the best antidote to fear.

Perhaps the most important information to know is how often to return for checkups. Checkups are often some of the most difficult times for cancer survivors, and for this reason there can be a tendency to put them off. But checkups, however upsetting they can be, are necessary to help ensure good health for a long time.

Get involved. One cancer survivor I know has volunteered at a hospital to sit in a lab area and be a supportive presence for people who are waiting to undergo tests. Many other people join support groups to be able to share with and help others in their unique journeys.

By turning our attention outward, we can begin to allow our experiences to be sources of strength for others, as well as ourselves. And strength is perhaps the most vital element of survival.

Celebrate! For many, battling and surviving cancer can be a seemingly endless series of setbacks and struggles. But it can also be a series of victories. When I was in the midst of the struggle, my friend, Maria, and I would meet at a special restaurant to celebrate every successful surgery or treatment. The fact that more struggles followed some of the celebrations was not as important as realizing that, if only at those particular moments, I had survived something else.

However we choose to celebrate, it is important to do so. Surviving cancer is definitely worthy of celebration, and a vital element in making sure that the more negative aspects of survival don’t play too large a role in our lives.

Take heart. “I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life, and at the same time, I’m also aware that it could be taken away very quickly,” said a cancer survivor.

By accepting our feelings, staying informed, getting involved, and turning to God in prayer and thanksgiving, we can begin to see what an ultimate victory surviving cancer is.

Excerpt taken from Living as a Cancer Survivor CareNote.